Love games

It's every straight man's dream: The ability to walk up to a random woman on the street, strike up a conversation, and within minutes have her phone number. The only problem with that fantasy is how quickly it evaporates in the cruel light of reality.  Before most guys could even take a step in that woman's direction, their inner monologue kicks in, shutting them down with fears of rejection, inadaquency, and anxiety.

But it doesn't have to be that way. According to professional dating coach Jeremy Soul of Love Systems, Inc., meeting women is easy. They're everywhere.  The only trick is learning how to properly approach them.

While I'm no Don Juan or James Bond, I've always been a pretty confident and outgoing guy. Without kissing and telling, I could honestly say that I've never considered getting professional help when it came to meeting women. But when Love Systems contacted Accent to see if a reporter wanted to cover their "Day Game" workshop in Austin, I jumped at the unusual opportunity.

When I entered the conference room at the La Quinta, I was expecting to see a room full of sad pathetic losers, desperate to learn how to seduce women with a handful of creepy techniques. To my surprise, I found a group of friendly, amicable guys whose only common link was the financial means to cover the workshop's hefty price tag.

All of the guys were eager and outgoing, and mainly just curious about the idea that attraction was a skill that could be learned and practiced, like bowling or basketball.
The first thing I learned in the four hour seminar was how far pick up artist culture has come since it was brought into the mainstream five years ago by Neil Strauss' book "The Game." Jeremy Soul uses the motto "100% Integrity," which is a far cry from the early tactics of canned lines, memorized routines, put downs, and other methods which ranged from sleazy to outright misogynistic.

Fortunately, Soul shared my concerns about the old ideology. Instead of relying on deceit and manipulation, the primary technique that Soul espouses is direct approach. The theory is simple. If you are interested in a woman, let her know immediately so she can view you as a potential suitor.

Instead of prowling bars and night clubs, Soul practices his techniques in an environment full of single attractive woman: the real world. That's the crux of day game. Any time and anywhere you might see a beautiful woman, simply go up to her and start talking.
The advice Soul offered seemed sound. The idea was to tell a woman you found her physically attractive, and then casually steer the conversation toward topics that cast you in a flattering light. If it worked as well as Soul promised, I assumed I'd have plenty of good looking ladies' numbers by the end of the day.

After we broke for lunch, we split into two groups and set out to find some "sets," pick up jargon for single women out walking. My group headed to South Congress, which was bustling with families, couples, and the occasional single woman all out and about on an overcast Saturday afternoon.

Out of the conference room and out on the street, my former confidence was nowhere to be found. I fumbled my way through a couple of approaches and, though I didn't score any digits, I avoided making a complete fool of myself.

Rather than being offended or annoyed, all the women I approached were flattered by my conversation-starting compliment. Even though I was all sweaty palms and shot nerves, most of the women were nice enough to stop and talk for a couple of minutes.

My career as a pick up artist didn't take off quite like I'd hoped, but I realized that Soul was probably right. If men practiced approaching women all the time, they'd be bound to get better at it sooner or later.

I still worry about the implications of Soul's methods. If day game caught on, women wouldn't be able to walk two blocks without being accosted by a flock of would be pick up artists praising their looks.

Feminist guilt aside, I was pleased to find that the harshest rejections I encountered were the ones I created in my own mind. I'm probably going to stick by my tried and true method for meeting women, dumb luck, but it's nice to know that there are brave men out there making that impossible dream a reality.